January 2nd, 2018

Not sure how.


I’m the kind of person that waits until the clock hits a certain number before posting a video. Would anyone care, if I posted it at 17.03? I doubt it. But I have to make sure it’s either 17.00, or 17.05. Which is very strange, because I never tend to care about things like this on any other situation.

I live my life in the middle – in every sense. I’m okay with not being the best, but not being the worst; not standing out too much, but not be invisible either.

I think maybe with this specific topic, it is different, because I’m unsure, and I’ve always been.

Today I’m gonna talk about many things, but mostly focus on my Youtube ‘career’ and what that entails. I went for a walk and couldn’t shake off these thoughts, so I figured writing would help me, as I’m hoping you could shed some light on it as well.


You would think that after all these years I’ve been on Youtube, things would be clear for me: I should have things figured out, and a strong point of view. Yet, I never had.

I think that’s why, when people first started coming across my channel, and only really caring because of who I am associated with, would hurt. If I knew who I was, and what I had to offer, I would be able to brush things off. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not down about it at all, I’m just sharing these things because it’s a new year, and I really want to make a change. I’m feeling positive, and I think that’s why I’m okay to post about my insecurities, because I’m fine with feeling this way, and truly want your feedback.

If you pick out each one of the close people in my life, like Emma, PJ, Felix (as well as all the others I hang out with) you can clearly tell what their strengths are, and what they are putting out there with their content. They are all very defined, I can easily tell their styles, their personalities, and so on. They are all such interesting and talented people, and from each one I am inspired by.

Now, don’t misunderstand this: I’m in no way saying I compare myself to any of my friends – I know that PJ is an incredibly gifted story teller and filmmaker, and Emma is an artist when it comes to makeup, so I’m in no way trying to meet their skill levels – what I’m saying is that I don’t know what I bring to the table.


When it comes down to me, I believe I do have multiple skills, but none that I truly excel at (I’ve touched upon this in a past blog post) – which to be honest, it’s fine for the most part, as I enjoy being able to try out and expand my interests, but it is quite frustrating not knowing what you true strength is. If you take a look at my channel, I don’t even know who I really am, so I’m not sure what comes across. I don’t know what my videos say about me… or maybe I do; they just never felt like a true representation of me, which is what bothers me.

Sure, I am a positive, light hearted person, that finds happiness in the simple things – like shown in my videos – but I do think there is much more to my personality, I just can’t seem to share that through the lens. I don’t know how to do that.

My fear is that, possibly, even my close friends don’t get to experience that from me; I sometimes notice how everybody is nicer to me that they are to others – which I do appreciate, of course – but I can’t help but feel like I’m perceived as naive and weak, and need to be shielded by reality and criticism.


This year I would love to make a change, be able to open up, talk about different topics I don’t usually discuss, add some depth and meaning to my channel, to show that there is more to me. But in all honesty, I have no idea how to do that, mostly because – as I mentioned – I don’t even know what I’m good at to begin with.

I know and appreciate the fact that people take my channel for what it is: a place where I post uplifting and positive videos about anything that interests me in that particular moment; from pet videos, to travel vlogs. But I also feel like I’ve been doing just those type of stuff for long enough that I should allow myself to grow and experiment with other things as well. So this is – in no way – an attempt to change, stop or remove the things I’ve done in the past, but rather a starting point to open up something new.


Because I’m so lost, I thought writing all of this on my blog could be a good starting point.

This post is all over the place, I’m aware of it, but hopefully something is coming across. If you don’t mind me asking: what makes you want to read what I write? What do you enjoy from my videos?

I’ve noticed lots of people asking me to bring the ‘monthly notes’ series from 2016 back – I’ve decided to listen to all the requests and do another year full of mini goals; hopefully that will push me to experience new things, which can never hurt, and come closer to finding myself.

But, I guess another question I have would be: is there anything you would want me to do, on my channel? Is there something I’ve never done and you would enjoy seeing me try out?

Even just thinking of my next video, I don’t really know what to film. Sure, I have plenty of ideas written down already and some series I want to do this year, but I simply don’t know how to begin 2018 – Youtube wise.

I feel like making a video about this topic could have been interesting, and a good way to change things up, yet I’m unable to open up like this on that platform, which is part of the problem.

I don’t know, maybe this year will turn out just like any of my other years, as far as content goes, and things will be just fine that way – but I think that at least spending some time thinking about ways to improve, and let you guys know how I really feel, is a step forward.

—-EDIT. This post has been up for a few hours now and you guys honestly gave me the most incredible encouragements, advices and feedback. I actually had teary eyes as I’m so happy you guys are part of my journey, and helped me see that what I do is meaningful to others, even if my interests are all over the place, and many of my videos document the simplest things in life. I truly appreciated reading through your comments, and feel even more positive now about this new year. Thank you all so much for sticking around, and for being the most amazing community. I feel incredibly lucky!



485 thoughts on “STARTING OFF.

  1. Pamela Barrometro

    Hello Marzia! I am actually a new subscriber and it is only a few hours ago that I have finally watched your recent videos. I am loving your pink hair. It is also in one of your recent videos that I found out about your blog. I found you on Youtube because I was wondering why ‘Pewdipie’ is so famous. I do not understand Youtube very much. I wanted to understand it by checking out his channel. It’s there that I found you, and then after that, I watched so many of your videos. It was unexpected. I didn’t know I would like your videos so much. You were talking about not being sure what you bring to the table and for me, as a fan, I think you bring yourself– your positivity, your kindness, your humor– and no matter what topic you talk about or where you are, I feel at home in your videos because you are present in them. You are a strength. I am a person who is also very introverted and I find happiness watching your videos. No mater what you try out this year, it’s going to be amazing because you are amazing. You bring in such a great energy. I am happy you allow us to be a part of your adventure. It’s a pretty great ride. You are a source of happiness and I hope you never forget that.


  2. Valery

    Hey Marzia!
    Just popped in to say that your content is what made me stop pointlessly hating ‘girly’ things like fashion and make-up, helped me learn more about them (and baking, I freakin love baking now), and helped me grow much more self-confident than I could have been. Your travel blogs are fantastically made, cooking and crafting videos are always a joy, and I really like videos, where you show off different outfits, not sure how to call them))
    As for the other directions, you know those videos where ppl not even from given specific field try to explain sorta professional things? I just really enjoy learning actual new information from the videos, and, for example, you talking about interior design and learning Japanese was amazing!
    So, uh, if you’d like to make this sort of content that would be just wonderous 🙂
    Sincerely yours,
    Fan from Russia))

    Liked by 2 people

  3. kleinesgruen

    Wow, so you asked so many questions I barley can keep with them; I’ll try nonetheless to share my opinion on your post and your thoughts in general.
    First of all, your post was kind of a surprise; just yesterday I thought the same thing:‘ do people really get me? Am I actually showing my true potential and who i am to the world and especially to my friends?‘, I still can’t answer this for me, but the most important part is that one is happy with oneself. Life is about constantly changing or, better said, forming oneself. And this is something I always get from you, that you always try to better yourself. Yes, it seems like you have lots of insecurities, but I would have never guessed that. I know that everyone has things they struggle with, but not everyone is as honest as you to know of them and speak about them. For me this is a huge strength of yours.
    I feel this through your videos, I like them because I can identify with them. They show how beautiful the world can be, they encourage to try new stuff and be openminded. Maybe you aren’t the best at makeup or telling stories, but it is the vibe you give off -the wholesomeness, that there’s always something you can look forward to in life- what draws people in.
    I can easily become bored from videos that are impersonal. Maybe you are reading this and thinking that you find your own videos impersonal because you can’t express yourself as well as you liked to, but when I think about your videos, it’s like looking trough a book of memories. A book where I was a part of, not because I was there, but because I can share the feelings.
    To conclude, I can understand you so well, that you feel frustrated, but you really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Finding the right words to express ones feelings is one of the hardest challenges in life; in my opinion you should do what you LOVE to do. Sit down and think of the videos you are truly proud of. That’s what I want to see, nothing else. Also it’s a shame that you are afraid of sharing your thoughts on YouTube, I really like your way of thinking and I’d love to watch videos of you just talking about memories or things you adore.

    The sum this up for one and all, I think you have lots of talents that you can’t share on YouTube, like lots of your personality‘s strength. But there are other things I think are admirable, like your endless creativity, your sense of aesthetics, that you always want to broaden your horizon, that you pay attention to details, that you find beauty in the (small) things that are easily overlooked and so on and on.

    (I won’t reread the whole thing I’ve just read bc it’s really difficult to write on your cellphone, but I hope that one can understand me)

    Love CHLOÉ


  4. Sonia

    I always love your videos and channel but I think I’ve gotten to know you more in your blog than your channel maybe because your videos are mostly videography which I do really love and find aesthetically pleasing but I think you should sometimes talk about things just like here
    greeting from Iran ❤


  5. Matilda

    Dear Marzia,

    I really feel like I understand what you’re going through and your thought process is a lot like mine! It’s easy to feel like everyone else has found their own nische which they are really good at while you yourself feel a bit all over the place. But even those people like to try new things every now and then and I’m pretty sure they don’t even know what they’re doing half of the time.

    What I like about your channels (I follow you on here,Youtube and Instagram) is that you as you said yourself, just focus on what you like at the moment. I like that you have a more lifestyle-focused theme with a specific feel to it (your personality). So whenever you’re being yourself, that’s where the magic happens. And when you look at what you make as a whole – think of it as an ongoing art project where you’re never still but always moving into new and exciting things, but all the while keeping one constant in there, which is Y O U. (Does that even make sense? lol I’m as lost as you are)

    So for more hands-on feedback; I would like to see more about your process in your other work, like your fashion collections and editing and so on. Where do you get your ideas from? What are you looking for when you look for partners to collaborate with?

    It would also be interesting to hear you talk more about things “from the heart” which people can relate to; like this topic in this post for example. Not too personal stuff of course, but the things that are on your mind, how you practice self-care after a stressful day, how you tackle challenges and so on. I think these are things that people will appreciate, knowing that others are going through the same thing and I always find that bloggers are more interesting the more relatable they get. I already feel that way about you in so many ways and the artistic feel of it makes it even better!

    So to sum up; be you both in the “hard facts” and the “soft ones”. And I really love what you’re writing about trying out new things. Finding originality is all about quantity up until you find the one aspect that sets you apart from others!

    Love from one aspiring Swedish media producer ❤


  6. Emily Jane

    Hello Marzia,
    This is the first time I have left a comment in anything I’ve seen. And I think it’s because watching videos on YouTube is very different to reading a blog.
    Your videos show a fun and quite sweet side to you. I don’t believe you are putting up a front, but when creating video content people are selective and cautious about what parts of themselves they show. It’s just one side of you, but that isn’t a bad thing. People clearly enjoy your videos and you must love what you do (why else would you be doing it!).

    But when I read your blog I feel there the is a much more personal connection. In what you write I think people can see a much more complex side of you. It’s both vulnerable and strong, it takes a lot to put yourself out there like that.

    Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I have found a real comfort in reading your blogs. It’s easy to get lost in the idea that everyone on the internet is ‘so happy’ and so far away from what real life feels like for the majority of us. But reading you talk about feelings and everyday situations that I can relate to is quite pleasant. Reading your blog is like reading a letter from an old friend.

    I hope you keep it up and have a wonderful new year.


  7. Maria

    Hi Marzia,

    I admit that I started watching your content because I saw you featured in PewDiePie’s videos but I stuck around since you seemed like a geniunely interesting and adventerous person. I noticed you were shy and the way he talks about you in some of his content gave me the impression that you really struggled with social anxiety which made me absolutely curious how on earth you managed to be visible in his videos AND have your own youtube channel featuring makeup/fashion. You say you don’t have any truly defined strength but I think that you absolutely do: you’re a girl who suffered from so many anxieties and yet instead of giving up and pulling into yourself never to see the light of day or fear again you push yourself to do more and try new things and FIND your strengths. You seem like such a bright, cheerful person and watching your content and especially reading your blogs gives me hope that its worth it to step outside your comfort zone and try your hand at new things. I have social anxiety too but mine is more unnoticable I guess? I’m that girl that people know about and don’t really like because people think I’m not quite friendly enough to talk to. I’m not awful or anything but its uncomfortable meeting new people and worrying about what they’ll think of you so I always come off a little awkward. Anyway, after watching your videos I realized that I liked your style and sense of beauty especially in interior design! I actually thought about it and applied it to my own life when I was helping choose furniture for other people’s rooms or designing the inside of a new condo my parents were redoing. I realized that I was actually good at something and that I liked it because I saw how much you liked it after you tried it. I never used to wear nice clothes because I didn’t know how to dress myself nicely and couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror in dressing rooms. I would be so awful and ashamed because even if I liked a piece of clothing I didn’t think I looked good in it. But, all your clothing videos made me realize that even if I instinctively didn’t know what would look good I ought to just try on everything until I find something I would like that looked nice. Now my best friend won’t stop stealing my clothes to wear out to places! You have a talent all your own Marzia. I at least think that truly inspiring people aren’t the ones that have a natural gift or defined talent for doing something. It’s the ones who are just like everyone else but never stop trying that make everyone else look at them and go, “Hey! I could do it too.” Chin up Marzia, you might never feel truly satisfied with where you’re at but that isn’t bad either. You should always strive to improve but if you feel blue about it just look back at what you have accomplished and smile.
    Well, thank you for writing and reaching out. And thank you so much for being brave enough to do what you do.
    Have a great new year!

    ~The silent majority


  8. Miranda Ramsay

    Hi Marzia,

    Not sure if you’ll read this but on the off chance you do I would like for you to know this:
    You asked us why we’re all interested in what you write and your videos. For me, and I’m sure for countless others, its because you’re not afraid to do something like this, that we all admire and look up to you for inspiration. Unlike other social media presences, you are so incredibly real! I know you said you feel like your channel is all over the place and doesn’t represent you correctly. And I get that, you want to show people the real you and not be fake. The thing is, every time you upload any form of content, myself and other Marzipans all are confident that it will be something original, inspirational and so Marzia. You said you don’t know what your strength is. I believe that your strength is that you’re not afraid to be yourself, and allowing us to live a little bit of your amazing life with you through social media. I cant even begin to explain how much you’ve made me want to organise my life, open my mind to new possibilities and even cook banana pancakes!! I am so thankful for you and your presence and for letting us in so that we may better ourselves in the process. We all support you and everything you do, share what you want to share and don’t think you have to make yourself have some amazing personality trait that makes you unique. Because you are amazing and unique, and your strength is yourself. Keep being you and doing whatever you want to do Marzia, whatever content you produce, whether it be positive, entertaining or serious. Knowing the sort of great person you are we will always be here 🙂

    Thanks for being you!


  9. portraitsbygem

    I know what it feels like to have so many interests, from drawing, to gaming, to writing etc, so it can feel like there isnt a sole individual thing that defines you, but you know what, ive come to reckon that thats ok and can be a strength 🙂 its ok to have a multiplicity of interests and maybe thats your thing? I’ve always loved your videos Marzia as they are so creative, whether its fashion related, cooking, playing a random board game/at home diy kit or whatever, and i genuinely think you are one of the most creative and most genuine youtubers out there and your videos are always so much fun to watch and inspiring 🙂 you’re a CREATOR and thats awesome n maybe different things will interest you at different times but thats okay cus it means that things will always seem fresh, interesting and have longevity 🙂 as a Marzipan i think whatever feels right to you is what you should post. I always like your fashion/ethical fashion/retro vids n think that has a lot of room for growth, i like your collab vids like with Emma (q n as) n stuff n vlogs. I dont think any Marzipan will mind what u post cus it always seems (at least to me in my opinion) each vid has a snippet of one or more sides of your creativity. Sorry if this is a hit waffley but i hope the message of what im trying to so comes across 🙂


  10. moonylluna

    Hey Marzia!

    I would like to write something long and elaborate but sadly my english writing skills are a little bit bad… I just wanted to say that i’ve never related to someone online so much as I do with you. Really. Everything you post, everything you do, as little as it may seem, just expresses so much more of yourself than what you think. I dont think you need to have something you are super good in to do what you do. Not everybody has to be the best in something, just enjoying what we like and living our lives the way we want I think is enough to find happiness. So don’t worry to much about it! If you find something you really really love to do and you want to try your best in that, that’s great! And if you want to start showing different parts of yourself that you still haven’t had the opportunity to do, thats also great! But most importantly, if you do what you feel is the correct in that moment and you find that you are happy enough with that, that’s absolutely great too!

    Wish I could go to a café and talk to you for hours, but I think that’s a little bit impossible hahaha.

    Anyway, know that even if you start doing differents things, we’ll be here to see you grow as a person and you can always rely on us!

    Love you Marzia!



  11. Akniram

    Hi Marzia,

    Your question “what makes you want to read what I write” kind of inspired me to answer. Because honestly, me reading your things are kind of atypical for me. Not sure if you read this (you already received loads of comments), but here are my two cents on the matter.

    The way I stumbled on you was through Felix to be fair. I don’t consider myself a girly girl, I am more of a geeky girl that plays games and works in IT. Because I watched some “let’s play” videos of Felix’s you came up in my results as well. I didn’t stick around for your videos, have watched some, but I very much enjoy your blog and Instagram.

    Maybe you aren’t specialised in a skill, if I may interpret your words, but that isn’t why you keep me interested. I honestly couldn’t care less about makeup or clothes, still I read all your blog posts. It is because you try things and tell us your experiences and thoughts. You do this in an entertaining, honest and engaging way (with really nice photos!). You and I are roughly the same age and it is so much fun to have glimpses of your life. Have you considered that maybe your best skill is sharing experiences with a public? Because I really enjoy reading your blog while a lot of your interests aren’t even my own. Funny huh? Your creativity and drive to do new things is inspiring.

    Besides all this, I think it is very human to feel like nothing is good enough. I am sure your friends will tell you they feel the same way sometimes. People tend to get lost, or feel lost, along the way. I believe the most important thing in life is doing what makes you happy. And being happy is almost a skill as well. The beauty of being is we can decide ourselves who or what we want to be. If you want to be perceived differently you can take matters into your own hands.

    Have fun Marzia!


  12. VanMausington

    Hey Marzia,
    First of all sorry for the terrible english. Im from Germany and i Love every Work and every Video from you.
    I like your style and you See Things in an totaly other Way its all so Lovely and positiv when you startet your Videos you were so shy and now look at you, you can so much wonderful things. You have so much Time to say this is my Way and this is what i can or what i can do.
    I know these Feelings and sometimes i dont know what i should do but i have also Time.

    Your a wonderful Person and your so talented with so many Things and this is a wonderful thing.
    I Love your Vlogs and hauls Love Videos were you are you (sry make that sence🙈)
    Your a wonderful Person you have Time and your way is beginning.

    Hope you can clear your Mind 🙂
    Love you and big hugs

    Many love from Germany
    Julia ♡


  13. Chloé

    Marzia ♥ You were so honest in this post, it really touched me when you said people, even your closest friends, are nicer to you than they are to others. I know what it’s like to feel so lost that even your friends don’t really know you.

    To be honest I only watch your videos, but I haven’t been around for long so I didn’t know you had a blog!! And to be honest, just like you were here, it was really weird seeing another side of you, seeing deeper into who you really are. I think even if you’re lost, you really shine in what you wrote here!

    You have a right to be lost. Thanks to the people who surround you, you could create this wonderful platform with millions of people who surround you! Let’s be real: if all these people didn’t find you interesting, they would have left a long time ago. If people stuck with you it’s because in your videos you appear as a wonderful, genuine and positive person. This is obviously who you are but please remember that it’s also okay to show another side of Marzia, exactly like you did here, but on YouTube. The support will be overwhelming, I promise you.

    Not to name anyone, but I know for a fact that a very famous YouTuber has changed a lot over the years, has revealed himself more and more to his public, even if it must have been very scary, and guess what? His channel keeps growing and growing and growing. Don’t be afraid to show who you are, people will stay with you Marzia.

    Much love from France ♥


  14. Asbeh Nayeh

    “…I sometimes notice how everybody is nicer to me that they are to others – which I do appreciate, of course – but I can’t help but feel like I’m perceived as naive and weak, and need to be shielded by reality and criticism.”

    Maybe people are nicer to you because YOU are nicer to people. You’re not ‘weak,’ and in no way ‘naive,’ it’s very clear just by watching your videos how genuinely sweet you are. You’re just getting back what you’re giving.



  15. riteasrain

    Hi Marzia, I’ve quoted you and then given my thoughts. (I’m a 66 year young female.)

    “everybody is nicer to me that they are to others”

    ** It’s highly possible this is because you are famous and sorry to say, sometimes deep down friends feel good being friends with someone famous, although they won’t admit it. I know this sounds crass, but I’ve been there done that, been “famous” once. Also, on the other hand, it made me feel better about myself being seen with famous people, possibly made me (feel) even more famous than I really was. (I’m not criticising your friends, by the way. I don’t know them and have never watched their channels.). But you are gentle and kind, with a hidden inner strength.

    “what makes you want to read what I write? What do you enjoy from my videos?”

    ** I love reading what you write because it’s honest, truthful, sincere, genuine. I enjoy your videos because they’re unique, filmed from a different perspective than most. I love your variety of subjects actually – the different places you visit, your local area, renovations. (Just so you know, I’m not subscribed to you but I make a choice weekly to head over to your channel and to Felix’s.)

    “is there anything you would want me to do, on my channel? Is there something I’ve never done and you would enjoy seeing me try out?”

    ** I would love to see you make more little drawing videos, your process, in real time (not sped up), and chatting along as you do (with eg camera trained on your drawing). “Maremi Small Art” on youtube is a great example.

    “yet I’m unable to open up like this on that platform, which is part of the problem.”

    ** Actually, not being able to open up on youtube may not be a problem at all. It may be an inner warning to not divulge too much. Because once it’s out there, it’s out there for good, but you already know that. Having said that, I have a youtube channel too, 10 years with 220+ videos, and I understand completely about opening up on there. I have done it a bit more as I’ve gotten older – sometimes I feel may as well, what have I got to lose at my age. My opinion is – we all have a yearning for connection and contribution, deeper than say making vids about makeup, clothing, gaming, travel. But what and where and how is OUR way of doing that? So I haven’t solved much 🙂

    Lots of love from Australia x


  16. Janeen Adams

    It’s true, I found your channel because of Felix. I continue to click on your videos because of your beauty. Your outer beauty is undeniable but it’s your inner beauty that brings me back. I think you’ve underestimated how much your outlook on life and the message you send means to people. You have such a lovely spirit that no matter what you do you make people feel better and feel inspired. That is priceless. I hope you understand how priceless that is. I’m an American woman. A Kindergarten teacher. On the outside we may seem very different but your heart stands out in all you do and I gain a lot from learning about you and your interests. We can all learn a lot from people who are different from ourselves. My wish for you is that you keep doing what makes you happy and (selfishly) that part of that is continuing to make videos about the things you’re interested in so that we can all share in your joy and creativity. Much love to you! P.S. I’ve had the privilege of touring Italy and loved it. What an amazing country full of culture and history!


  17. fannyelsa

    I stopped to wonder why exactly I follow you & love your content as much, whether it’s the blog or the videos. Besides the easy « you are lovely ! » answer, I think what I like the most is that every time it feels like some time spent with a friend. Your personality is the type that I love – you are creative, positive and bubbly, but also have that fragility to you with anxiety and fears that makes me relate. So when I watch your videos, it’s like « oh nice, look at what my friend is doing this week ! ». Maybe as if you were a childhood friend who moved away and this is how we keep in touch, you know the feeling ? On YouTube I can really get a sense of your bright and funny side, and in the blog a little more in depth in your thoughts which makes for a full experience.
    However I do understand where you are coming from of wanted to show more of who you really are. Humans are so complex !, it’s hard for others to see everything we are right away. I think it’s fine if you do little things sometimes, like talk about a book, of a show, or things you randomly like. They offer a look into you, and may surprise us ! Look at yourself through your friends too, they know you best after all ! Let them tell you (and maybe us !) things about you, things we may not know, stories of memories or anectodes that you wouldn’t necessarily think to tell but make you you.
    Even if your format or content doesn’t change in its form, do not worry Marzia ❤ we get a lot of you ! When you travel, when you show us your new lines, those « regular » videos always show your personality. We learn more about you even if it’s not something you planned.
    Your strength is being an amazing friend. Someone we would want as a sister. So even if you jump from one thing to another, we are watching any content just to spend time with you, and that makes you an incredible person I think ❤

    You’ve got this. You are awesome. Don’t worry and go for it ^^


  18. faerieve

    Dear Marzia, I’ve been following you since you began your channel, it’s always been a “safe space” for me, so to speak. Your content fills me with inspiration, warmth and happiness. I can 100% relate to these feeling you are experiencing, it’s a difficult emotion. Truthfully, I think anything you put your mind/hands to you do SO well. And I think it’s a positive thing that you have many hobbies/interests. From what I know of you, I think your strong suit lies in interior design and fashion styling. The way you design your home and style your outfits are BEAUTIFUL and so so unique. I think you should explore these 2 things more outside of Youtube. But as for Youtube… I agree the “notes” series was great, and obviously the travel videos. You have such a dreamy way of capturing your surroundings! I’d love to see you do some more videos sharing your thoughts and feelings, “deeper” videos I suppose? But I understand if you don’t want to take this feat, as putting yourself “out there” is scary, especially with such a large audience. Another video idea I would LOVE to see from you is “outfits of the week” showcasing the outfits you wore each day! Maybe videos about poetry/novels etc? I’d honestly be over the moon if you did a book club series, where you choose a book for everyone to read that month (as I believe we have similar tastes – Banana Yoshimoto for example). But whatever you choose to do, I will continue to support you! Do what makes you happy! All The Best ❤ ❤ ❤


  19. Emely RicoGarcia

    Dear Marzia,
    I can really relate to what you’re saying. Being good and/or skillful at multiple things, but not having one subject in life I’m great at makes me feel as though I don’t have something that defines me as a person: Something that illustrates my being and personality. Although I’m still just in high school, there will come a time when I will have to focus on one thing to succeed in life. Anyway thank you for what you do and I will always look forward to what ideas you have next!


  20. Charlotte


    Like many of the previous commenters here, I was touched by how open and honest you were in this post. I admit, that I normally only view your YouTube videos and only stumbled across this site today by sheer chance through viewing an old “Notes” video from 2016.

    I’ve not watched all of your videos and never watch them in order, but the several I have watched, I’ve noticed a trend:

    You say you’re not brilliant at anything, but I have to politely disagree. Your videos all show the different aspects of your life as you know it. Life is not a linear object you can track on a graph. It’s messy, it changes at the drop of a hat, it makes you question everything you know on some days and makes you the happiest person in the world the next.

    Your talent, is showcasing that. Whilst you may not have a focused stream of YouTube videos like other YouTubers, you perfectly display the reality of people living their lives. Some days you’ll want to focus on your pets, other days you’ll focus on cooking and DIY projects. It epitomises how people live their lives and how everyone has multiple interests that don’t always sit together nicely on a shelf.
    Real life, unlike movies tell us, aren’t all exciting and flash bangs and full of action. Life is mundane, monotonous and multi-faceted. You take that banality and add a sparkle that many can’t. Your gift is story-telling. Your editing of videos is genuinely a spectacle to watch. It is always a pleasure to watch your videos because everything feels so organic and natural, with a warmth you can’t fake.

    As a woman, you will always be judged on your relationship status and everything about your femininity. I can’t imagine what it would be like dating someone as famous as Pewdiepie, and the fact that you handle it so professionally and you’re STILL able to carve your own niche and identity online is incredible. You have, I’m sure, been called every name under the sun and you have refused to be drowned by the trolls. You’ve done the near impossible – you’ve created a channel that somehow is completely different and yet totally relateable.

    At the end of it all, what you do is incredibly brave, as you put your life online. The internet is a harsh and unforgiving place, and yet somehow you’ve tamed that beast to purr like a kitten for you. That is your superpower, and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise.

    I can only think that you may feel trapped by your YouTube presence sometimes. The tie that you created originally may now feel suffocating. Just remember that you only have to answer to yourself, and if the answer is to post less, post something completely different, or just focus on other things you want to spend time on to discover your purpose in life (spoiler alert: It’s to live it with enjoyment in every day and to make it memorable for you and your closest loved ones), then that is entirely your prerogative

    . Your fans will always understand as long as you remain true to yourself.


  21. Hannah

    Hi, Marzia. I started watching you back in 2014, when I was 14. Watching you and Felix’s videos has been some of the best times.
    I just want to let you know – It’s not about your content, it’s just you as a person I love watching. You may not feel you know who you truly are, but you are built up of all the things you enjoy, love, and cherish. You pick up the good things you like in others, and they become a part of you. And even if you can’t define it, or give it a first impression for others to view, you are still just that- you. Your channel is built with love and just overall happiness that spreads through the lens. The places, no matter where you or are what you’re doing, just please share it with us.

    Here’s a few of the things that I miss dearly-

    I miss your vlogs. It feels as though there’s less of you in your vlogs. There’s flashes of moments and music. Before it felt like a shared experience/memory.
    I miss learning things about you. Like, Marzia’s Time or Q&A videos.
    I also miss your animations, they were crazy and creative.
    I would love to see a video of you working on something, whether it be your next box, clothing line, drawings.
    You could share the “planning process.” Maybe take the notes videos in more depth. Maybe share what inspires you to make a certain goal.
    Share more experiences with us. Animated story times?
    Lastly, perhaps a video/or blog post once a month about all the things you enjoyed that month. Books, movies, music, foods, etc.
    I’m always happy to discover what you have liked already. I find myself enjoying those things too.

    That seems to be all I can think of. Thank you ❤ ~A Marzipan~


  22. Marsea

    DEAREST Marzia …. 😍Do what you like🎉 how you like . 🎉We all grow and change interests and that’s all great ! We are all wondering who we are at different times of the day even ! You are not alone in your thoughts . I watch your videos and read your blog because if you. Your personality , your aesthetic , your attention to detail , your view of your works in that moment you live it or film it. I think everyone that enjoys your videos and words and photos … just really resonates with and enjoys You dear Marzia ! 🙂 thank you for your heartfelt words. I’d say I have so much I want to do and am interested in I ding know where to start so I figure I will just pick one thjnv and start there to move forward on that and the. Do another thing I pick . Maybe just go with what you feel . And e joy yourself I. What you do to uplift yourself and you will delight others. You shine . Keep shining. We like you for who you present yourself to be and we see the genuine ness in anything you have or want to share in the future. Maybe you can ask your guardian Angels for assistance and see what happens 🙂 . Hugs to you ! Have a lovely day . I look forward to your new 2018 creations ! Just go for it . Let your whims take you on your journey . You do not have to worry about anyone else’s thoughts cause the people that support you love you. 😘 And the ones that don’t, don’t matter . Keep doing things you enjoy and love. I look forward to seeing anything you chose to share with us Marzipans 🙂



  23. Pineapple girl

    I know exactly how you feel. I’m a bit good at several things at once, but there’s nothing I would be the best at, there’s not any main thing I would focus on. However, I just follow my intuition. It is sometimes frustrating to see other people show off what they’re good at while not being able to do something like that myself. But I think that if I’ll just keep putting my effort into each of those things, I’ll be eventually good at all of them.

    Well, that might not be the most useful advice. I think you should just try whatever you want to try at the moment and keep exploring new opportunities. Us Marzipans will always support you and understand you. It is perfectly fine to evolve and change. I guess there is nothing big and quick you could do at the moment, just be patient, listen to your heart and stay open to new things. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do/learn/… maybe it’s the thing you should go for. Try to figure out what gives you the sense of satisfaction and happiness.

    Also, just look back at all you have achieved so far. You surely deserve to be proud of yourself. It is true that I love your videos because they help me relax and feel nice. You’re an inspiration to me in many ways. I think it’s a good idea to start with the monthly goals again. I’ve actually just made my first bullet journal and I write my mini goals for each month there (both of these things were inspired by you 😀 )

    I think you’re talented when it comes to visual stuff (I hope I found the right translation for what I mean 😀 ) You’re good at designing clothes and interiors for example. I love your taste and your style is also an ispiration to me.

    Maybe the things I wrote didn’t make much sense, but please don’t give up. No matter what you do, we will always support you 🙂


  24. Mirra

    Hi, Marzia! I’m really glad you put this type of post out here – it’s a good, deep perception that shows your introspectional skills and analyzing ability.
    First I’ll say that I am not a faithful subscriber, but I do keep up with your content though usually I absorb scientific/analyzing kind of videos where people give meaningful opinions and covering certain events or whatever it is that interests them. I look up to your videos when I’m distressed by the ton of information I recieve and process due to the nature of my job. I don’t want you to think that I imply that your content is silly or meaningless – it just serves totally different purpose.

    I think that not so many people are able to drove a line between the person who produces a content and the content itself. Your types of videos are meant to be cute, light, quircky and relaxing, they don’t have the purpose to fullfill or trigger some thinking which is, again, NOT a bad thing.

    Sure, they represent your personality in some ways, so does everything you put up online and I feel like people can’t tell that the child of the creator (your content) is not an essence of creator’s personality and not an indicator to who you truly are and what your interests should be. Therefore this causes your fans and probably close ones to have this unpleasant prescription of you being naive, fragile and needed to be protected. I might be wrong, but sure this kind of expectations has it’s influences on how you choose to act and what you choose to say in real life. I also really heavily relate to your struggle with this innocent imige that just genarally stuck on young females who express anxious behaviour and it just gets in a way when you try to explore your limits and possibilities. Hate to say this, but it has a lot to do with your size, choice of clothing, age, gender and physical appearance. I mean, it sucks, as a twenty year old female who is also fragile and shy, when it comes to social interactions, I think I should know, it’s hard to break expectations that are based purely on your looks. You’re expected to be a princess and a fairy and blamed for ‘not trying to do more’ and ‘impostering’ the Disney dream girl.

    Sadly, this stigmatization is inevitable and we often feel to need to suit the frame and it becomes a comfortable position somtimes, cause we did what was expected of us! And if feels nice to be pleasant. This stops you from learning what you’re capable of and causing others to become more convinced in your limits.

    I sometimes catch myself thinking that girls who create this heartwarming and light type of content about crafts, makeup, fashion, travel etc. fall into some kind of loop where you might think you’re not allowed to have opinions, express anger and frustration or any other negative emotion and even be interested in certain things (which is, of course, deeply sexist and mysoginistic, but I wouldn’t believe if you said you didn’t experience that kind of feeling) and fear of judgement which is inevitable in any case scenario. And I’m guilty of thinking that as well: that what creators show online is everything there is to a person in reality. Like, creators of ‘pretty’ content are fairies whose lives somewhat defined by where they travel or what they buy and become often criticized for shallowness and blind consumerism.

    What I mean to say is that you’re different from what you create in many ways – important ways and I (talking from a point of usual media consumer) find myself interesed to go back and check up on your blog and channel even though my usual subscriptions are very different from what you offer. But I do come back because I really like to see your growth as a person, what skills you mastered and I like to see glimpses of your personality (and in this post it is just glowing, it’s an impressive change). Your strength is in your ability to grow, listen and analyze and I really enjoy it when you speak up about your feelings and stuggles, though I know it causes a lot of critisizm but it is also what makes you relatable and lively, in my personal opinion (and not to be misleading – I am hardly a person that can be a represenatative of your audience).

    Considering all of the above, I have a following suggestion which might be very experimental and probably off the table, but I reckon you’re fond of astronomy and yet you never share this passion. I would really love to see your content being more sustained, fullfilled, and gain more of a scientific flavor to it. Maybe give some historical insights in your future travel blogs? Share your favourite stand-up comedians or sci-fi novel? Insert some ethical research in your makeup and clothing videos? I mean, there’s no way everything we consume can be 100% ethical, but it’s always nice and refreshing hearing someone is concerned about the issue, not only from vegetarian point of view, but also speaking on behalf of human rights and I remember that I came across your channel first when was looking up how I can change my relationship with shopping and be more consious and aware of it. Or maybe giving us your insight on political topics or wide media events, like Oscars 2018 and, you know, keeping up with the world a little bit more. I belive that will also tear down a certain wall which does not allow you to express yourself fully as you claim in your post.

    Also, I know you published a book few yers ago and I’m sorry that it had rather unpleasant backlash which must be traumatic to a creator, but I’d really love to see you giving it another try and being more resorceful and put more research in it.

    This turned out to be way longer than intended, but I hope it was somehow noticed and usable. You’re kind and bright, Marzia, and i’m really happy about your open-minded, honest and positive approach to your career and life! I wish you all the best!


  25. bexx

    Reading other comments I don’t know if I can explain as well as they do. but why not give it a try..

    I found your channel a few years ago through pewds but I stayed because of you. I like the relaxed feel to your videos I feel i can chill while I watch them and enjoy your content. sometimes other videos are too much and just there for the point of being there. But yours feel like you have thought about something and wanted to share it so you made a video for us to see, its more personal.
    It must be difficult to express your personality online and not feel judged.. your brave for doing it and I’m sorry you feel a little lost in youtube. I like to see videos where the person making it is happy in what they are expressing so my opinion on would you should do more of is whatever you enjoy making and feel like doing. I enjoy your vlogs because you share moments of life that you enjoyed and the travel vlogs make me look forward to one day traveling..
    I suppose its the same reason I then followed this blog because I like you and I’m interested in what you have to say.

    I hope this is in anyway helpful (if you or anyone else reads it). Keep being you marzia that’s all you can be and we love you for it. xx


  26. Zooney Lemons

    Dear Marzia,

    I read your post with a tinge of sadness that you are privately having these thoughts. You come across as a delicate flower and as someone who needs protecting, but you are a women and it seems to me that you need to roar “I am a grown woman” from the top of your lungs.

    There comes a point in life where you are beginning to question what you offer to the world and it seems that you are there. You make these, soft, delicate videos which are sprinkled with kawaii and they are truly beautiful. But you need to harden up. You are strong and you can be strong. You have a potential audience of 7 million plus ready and waiting for you with every upload. Embrace it. As to how to get there? That is something you need to figure out. Personally i think you offer an aesthetic that reminds me of Sofia Coppella with your video style. You remind me of her. She surrounds herself with beautiful heartfelt ideas and makes gold. You can do the same. Maybe you need to step out of your bubble for a while, take a course or spend some time finding your value.

    You do not need praises to keep going rather the realisation that you control the content and if you want to switch it up, do it. Its your channel and your life. People will watch regardless whether they are old subs or new subs.

    In a way its a little unbalanced for you as you hang around with super successful people who are clear with their branding (message? Idk) on Youtube, like fine ok, you’ll never be at 59m subs but the guy who is, is right beside you and the difference is he comes across as someone with bags of confidence and self belief. Let some of this rub off on you.

    I guess i’ll end with – You have a harder battle, you really show yourself on camera and your content seems really personal. It is seen that every upload has your heart and soul in it. This is what makes your videos unique to you and it’s a wonderful, pure thing that can’t be bought or faked. Maybe this needs to be wrapped up a little tighter sometimes, to protect you.

    I wish you well on your journey of self discovery.
    Zooney x x


  27. melancholic rainbow

    Hey Marzia!! I know everyone’s typed the best suggestions so I’ll just keep mine real short. Love your videos! And you should try out streaming. It’s not sth you usually do and i think it could get us to know you better since you’ll hv more room for improvisation during streams. Perhaps you could cook or something. I and a lot of people would definitely enjoy that!! And PS I dont think youre weak or naive. Youre just really nice and perhaps people are inclined to repay kindness with kindness. Youre strong dude! Overcoming all the things in your path. Definitely strong. Love ya!!


  28. Burup

    Hi Marzia!

    I’ve been watching your channel for a number of years, but only recently (6 months-ish) have been following your blog as well. I absolutely love all of the videos that you do; mainly because I adore your personality. I think that you have a very kind heart, and it comes across very genuinely in your videos.

    I also watch your videos about the pugs and Dogy with my young sons… they really love those! My 4 year old has started pretending to be a hedgehog while he’s playing now.

    I was trying to think of what I would describe your channel is… but there’s so many different elements that I enjoy. I love hearing about changes to your skin care/make-up routines, your cooking videos, and fashion videos. I also like getting to see your ‘favourites’ for the month, as I find there’s a lot of things I’ve gone out afterwards and tried myself.

    I can’t wait to see all the neat stuff you do in the future, I know you’ll do wonderful things!


  29. ljiljana10

    Hi Marzia,

    I know exactly how you feel because I your age and gender and I have older brother whose steps I followed always ( i got into high school, same collage, same job etc. Every my decision was based on his and now I feel like I cannot make my own decision. But I am not on a bad position, I appreciate everything in my life and let me tell you why should you too.

    Your videos are real. You are real. Your cooking videos with imperfect cookies that you made on first try and shared your experience. That is what we want. Not some perfectly shaped, plastic looking stuff that you made from 10th try and wouldn’t even eat after you are done filming.
    And your traveling videos. They feed my soul. I traveled to Italy twice (it was amazing) and I am currently planning a trip to Iceland. All because of you!
    I also love that you are environmental friendly and that you share your information with us. Thank you!

    I would say that your “job” is being a true influencer because you do all of the above and because you are a honest and caring person.

    As of what I would love to see more is your influence on me 🙂 Trying new, simple things, traveling, cooking, drawing and just talking to us.

    Happy New Year!


  30. Jordan Barringer

    It’s so sad forme to see you struggle with this, not knowing just how much you impact our lives. As for me, I suffer from depression and anxiety and your video’s always remind me that I can find joy in the little things. Your videos and content keep me grounded.


  31. Giuli

    Hey Marzia, I know I’m quite late for this, but I couldn’t help but feel like I should leave a comment on this post, even if you are not going to end up seeing it. I can personally relate to what you described in this post since I am going through something very similar myself. And what I can say is that you were the one who actually helped me a lot. I was having difficulties figuring out who I am, what my style is and how I want people to percieve me, I even started doubting silly things like which foods I liked. And then I took upon watching your videos. I’m not going to lie, I stumbled upon you because of Felix, but is your personality that made me stay and watch every single one of your videos and now start reading your blog. You were different from every other youtuber I had ever watched and you influenced me a lot, I now know what my style is and which foods I like hehe. But not only that, you inspired me to put myself out there and be who I am even not knowing who that is, I suddenly came to terms with what I have and realized that those things are to be built with time, and as for expressing myself, well, I’m still not that great at it but I am improving as it goes and people have commented that I’m doing good. Your videos and now blog posts keep me motivated to keep living each day of my life at a time and don’t let thing get to me a lot. I truly aspire to be someone like you someday and I hope I get to achieve a bit of that. I kind of got lost on where I was going with this post so I just wanna end it saying that it’s okay not to excel at something, having multiple talents you are “kind of good at” count just as much. I (and surely everyone else here) will support any decision you make, and I hope that you find the realization you are looking for, change is always good and we shouldn’t be afraid of it. I wish you all the best!


  32. Cobo

    Hey Marzia! I’ve been subscribed for a while but I just now started to take a look at your blog. I came across where you said that you feel people think you should be shielded and everything and I have to say I completely understand how you feel. Showing the depth of who you are can be hard even with the closest of people and I can imagine on camera it’s much harder. I hope that you achieve all the things you wish to do this year! Have fun and thank you for the wonderful content.


  33. Claire

    Hey Marzia 🙂 It’s been a while since I started following you on Youtube and I’ve seen you “grown” in a way. Like I feel that you’re sharing a lot more of your world to youtube (since the travel vlog : the way you have to capture moments ❤ ). Your videos always apease me, (and as I've seen in the comments here), you've helped me being okay with my "weird"-and-"girly"-and-"otaku"-self. I think that maybe you could (if you want) post more about your drawings like have a theme and make characters (kinda like character design challenge – if you know it). In any case I always enjoy watching yours video. Happy new year girl 😉


  34. heartbreaker (@songina1997)

    When you mentioned that you feel like your friends act a lot nicer to you, that could be because you as a person, are a lot nicer than those other people. You know how people tend to unconsciously copy/follow the way the person they’re interacting with acts? I would act more energetic with someone who’s personality is more hyped, and more mature and calm if the person I’m talking to was the same. I feel like what you’re saying is a good example of this, I don’t think it’s because they perceive you as weak.


  35. Florencia

    Hello Marzia! I’ve been following you for a couple of years now and everyday I look forward to watch one of your videos! I’m a college student from South America and sometimes it’s hard to keep myself motivated to continue studying and doing things that I enjoy, but everytime I watch one of your videos I feel positive and inspired to do anything! In my opinion that is your biggest strenght and the reason I watch your videos (besides many other things, like your style or how beautiful you make everything look). It’s like you are a friend to me in some kind of way. I hope you find what you are looking for this year and that you achieve all of you goals!


  36. LisaMN


    this was an incredibly powerful and raw post. I can’t imagine the strength it took to press ‘publish’ on this text.

    I’ve been watching your videos for several years now and I can relate to your situation on so many levels. Yes, I also feel very torn about my strengths and the image I project to the world. What I could most relate to, however, was the fact that you are living abroad with a foreign partner in a city where neither of you have any family.

    I find myself in a really small, underdeveloped town in Asia due to my husband’s work and only recently found a job that I can do online/from home. I suspect that the fact that you are living in a foreign country, with a foreign spouse, with a job that doesn’t get you out there as much might have have contributed to you feeling a bit lost. I might be completely off-track here but t least that’s how I feel a lot of times. Just being ‘the spouse’, not being seen for who I am and not being able to express myself clearly in the local language have contributed to me feeling much ‘smaller’ than I used to feel.

    Maybe this situation could be turned into a video series? Talk more about your Italian-ness, where you come from and what is so strange for you in the UK? Maybe speak more about living with someone who doesn’t share your cultural background or talk about the difficulties with juggling family obligations in different countries? I don’t mean to say that you should completely open up about your own relationship online, but maybe approach it from a more general angle?

    Anyways, you’ve already received so many well-meaning comments and I completely agree with all the people who say their life wouldn’t be the same without your videos.

    Lots of love from Southeast Asia,


  37. Undathesea

    I hope it’s not redundant to leave this here at this point, but either way, here I go!

    You’re obviously adventurous and artistic—there is literally no contending that after watching your videos. You’re an interesting person with an interesting life, and I find myself consistently curious whenever I see a new video or blog post has been uploaded.

    That said, I think trying out new things is an excellent idea! It’s healthy for the brain, the “soul”, whatever you want to refer to it as. Maybe I’m taking away the wrong perspective here, but I don’t think you need a niche or a skill to define you. That’s what being artistic and adventurous IS: constant change, parallel activities, multitudes of interests. Personally, I think you should try an assortment of new things and see what sticks—publish some short stories, start a podcast, go back to voice acting and story telling, sculpt, anything and everything.

    Who cares if someone is better at it, or posts more content? The fun is in trying it for yourself, I think. I personally love your films and animations, your cooking videos, your travel vlogs, etc. I vote to go for it.


  38. Sara LM

    Hi Marzia! I’ll try to be brief but I like you so much that I think it will be hard. I think your personality is crystal clear from your videos, which only happens to me with a couple more youtubers. I feel your strengh is CREATIVITY. You are creative and curious, and that is why you try and do well in so many fields. Let’s take a look at your cooking videos, for instance. You can pull off several dishes with your imagination, not following closely a recipe. I feel your strengh is TASTE and CREATIVITY. I feel you shine in your gift guides, styling videos, home and decor, and so on. I also trust your recomendations in other fields, like movies and videogames, because your taste seems to me coherent (not subjected to the best brand deal). So, if you liked, let’s say, Binding of Isaac and I’ve played this game too and enjoyed it, and you recommend Happy Home Designer I’ll give it a try and most surely enjoy it (which i have). Another example: your clothing lines. They are so personal that you cannot really find the same stuff elsewhere. And that’s tough, because you know so much about fashion that it’s impressing that you are able to find your style among all that information (same with your other non-fashion related collections).Finally (I don’t want to go on forever) you are nice, transmit so much energy and positive vibes, independent, hard-working, driven, passionate and I share some of your values (related to animals [I’m also a vegetarian], fast fashion, your pets, how you seem to handle relationships,…) (obviously this is my opinion after seeing a fraction of you through your videos, but I thought I would share it with you anyway). This year I would just like to see more of all this and it would be great if you made new series and all that. The only new thing I good add is videos in which you tackle a certain topic more personally. I don’t know what you would be comfortable talking about, but let’s say women in videogames or your creative process when designing a line, or how you plan your travels, or some thoughts on recent news of some kind. Maybe lists like “top 5 books to read when travelling” or “top 5 albums to listen to while you draw”. Something like that in which you explore a topic you like, provide guidance and information but also help us learn a bit more about you.

    Thank you for doing what you do!


  39. Linda

    Dear Marzia,

    I always look up to you. Sometimes maybe not in the most healthy way. I want to have the lifestyle like you portrayed in the video: organized, creative decor, very kind boyfriend, nice house, healthy food, etc. Therefore I really appreciate when you talk about this “real” inside things. I hope in later video you can have more QnA video, or just talk about life in general.

    Other than that, in my eyes you are so perfect and you have so much impact to us than you could imagine.

    Love you and Felix! You guys make my days brighter 🙂



  40. Meriel

    Dear Marzia 🙂
    I know how hard it is to put a content on the youtube videos because I was trying to be a youtuber myself and it is extremely hard for me as well… especially that I have a similar problem as you… I don’t know which direction I should take to feel good in a content chosen… and I lost myself as well… but I’m sure you’ll find your way with us, your loyal fans all over the world 😉 Just don’t feel pressed too much to record another video on that particular day… it can make you down when you won’t succeed and post it on Monday or Tuesday as you promised etc.
    About the things I loved watching in your videos… they were with Felix when you both traveled to Japan, also I loved your videos about interior design theme, with your make up routine and all the videos that had feelings included in. I don;t know, maybe you should just record videos about thoughts on some things? Your travels were amazing and those videos I loved so so much. And of course you both with Felix playing Sims, I was laugjing until I had teary eyes because of laughter, you both play games in such a funny way, I really loved it 😀
    Anyway, I keep your fingers crossed and won’t tell you what you should do because I know you will find your own path yourself, because you’re strong girl 🙂 believe in that 🙂 And please don’t ever abandon your youtube channel, it would break my heart so much because you’re my favourite youtuber 🙂
    All the best! Greetings from Poland and from me to you dear Marzia 🙂
    Please take care of yourself and FIGHT! No matter what, just fight for your dreams 🙂


    1. Meriel

      Of course there should be “keeping MY fingers crossed for you” Gosh… so sorry, it’s so late in Poland that my English skills are so low and my mind just doesn’t work xD Anyway… have a good night all!


  41. Radflyynaj

    Hi Marzia! I read this entry a little too late, but i hope you’ll read this eventually 🙂

    I struggle with finding my strengths too and i feel that way with my friends as well. I guess to sum it up, i find that your blog entries are relatable to a certain extent and i come back because i’m interested about your life and travels. And style of course, i’m so in love with your sense of style – in clothes, stationery, house items.

    As for you as a person, i always associated horror movies with you. I guess i like it when you review the things that you like. Your likes are pretty unique and quirky, i just like that about you. You’re likeable and sweet, thats why i keep coming back.


  42. Katherinepriartso

    Honestly, the reason why I love you is your being. The way you being you. I know that the reason why I know you is from people you associate with, but it made me feel grateful that fate made me know you. Through people near you. To me, you’re a sweet, kindhearted, and talented person. You have that special thing who makes you specia despite of your flaws. I honestly like your contents because it’s so calm, chill, and relaxing to me. Something that I still pursuing for. Seeing that in you makes me believe that we can be everything if we want to. If we wish to be in that way. Sometimes I envy the way that you can be so organized in things. In my opinion, maybe the reasons why you feeling lost or maybe uncertain of yourself is because you’ve been living in a normal and stable life. And maybe you kinda need that ‘adrenaline’ or something new that you could try. You’re boring now and you want to experience new things that maybe you never think of. I felt that too sometimes. Even being normal is a kind of shortcoming too. Kinda funny but it’s true. (Sorry for this weird analysis lol). But the thing is, the very important thing, you’re a good person. You bring good inpact to people who follow you/admire you and your content. Including me!:) trust me even though we never met before, I can feel in your sincerity in your contents. And it really warms my heart:). Not only me but other people too! And I cared about you since then. I’m feeling like I’m having a good and nice friend. And I want you to feel good about yourself:). Hhhhhhh i cried omg. Idk what to say anymore but ilysm marzia thank you so much for sharing things that you love with us!!!!


  43. Gentiana

    So, i want to keep this one short and I just wanna tell you a little about myself. I’m a 20 year old so called genius programmer at my uni here in Kosovo and many people know me for what I excel at, not for who I truly am. Generally I’m happy to have this talent, but a professor of mine once said to me “Don’t be a 10, be an 8” and that changed my point of view. Well of course I laughed at this one at first(▰˘◡˘▰). And then later on I realized, I was missing on something. And that was me being average.

    It sounds lame ikr… (¬‿¬) average… but !!! It has saved me these couple of months. Last year i didn’t know how to cook, didn’t clean my room nor myself that often, didn’t properly dress myself, didn’t read books at all, didn’t do any sports, didn’t go out with friends cause i was too busy coding and playing gamesヽ(´▽`)ノ I’m good at just one thing.
    But you girl, you are the opposite of me, and yet we have so much in common. You know why? Because I too feel naive and weak (. ゚ー゚) .

    By the end of the last year, I made a promise to myself to accomplish some goals. Reflect positive energy, express myself with fashion and makeup, start COOKING for myself, do things out of your comfort zone, travel and take more pictures and videos, go out with friends also make more friends(I had just one friend (^▽^) ) ,watch movies(I didn’t have time for that in the past), start reading books every month, start ballet, so one and so forth. It’s a bit hard for me to change myself in so many directions, but I’m doing my best ≧◡≦.

    Here is where you come in, THANK YOU >.< for teaching me that there is more to life than just playing games and programming.You are MY (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ INSPIRATION. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ Wish you all the best this year, aand more pugs (´・ω・`)

    PS… now all of my grades are bellow 10, but I gained so much more 。◕‿◕。and I'm the happiest that I've ever been


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