STARTING OFF.

January 2nd, 2018

Not sure how.

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I’m the kind of person that waits until the clock hits a certain number before posting a video. Would anyone care, if I posted it at 17.03? I doubt it. But I have to make sure it’s either 17.00, or 17.05. Which is very strange, because I never tend to care about things like this on any other situation.

I live my life in the middle – in every sense. I’m okay with not being the best, but not being the worst; not standing out too much, but not be invisible either.

I think maybe with this specific topic, it is different, because I’m unsure, and I’ve always been.

Today I’m gonna talk about many things, but mostly focus on my Youtube ‘career’ and what that entails. I went for a walk and couldn’t shake off these thoughts, so I figured writing would help me, as I’m hoping you could shed some light on it as well.

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You would think that after all these years I’ve been on Youtube, things would be clear for me: I should have things figured out, and a strong point of view. Yet, I never had.

I think that’s why, when people first started coming across my channel, and only really caring because of who I am associated with, would hurt. If I knew who I was, and what I had to offer, I would be able to brush things off. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not down about it at all, I’m just sharing these things because it’s a new year, and I really want to make a change. I’m feeling positive, and I think that’s why I’m okay to post about my insecurities, because I’m fine with feeling this way, and truly want your feedback.

If you pick out each one of the close people in my life, like Emma, PJ, Felix (as well as all the others I hang out with) you can clearly tell what their strengths are, and what they are putting out there with their content. They are all very defined, I can easily tell their styles, their personalities, and so on. They are all such interesting and talented people, and from each one I am inspired by.

Now, don’t misunderstand this: I’m in no way saying I compare myself to any of my friends – I know that PJ is an incredibly gifted story teller and filmmaker, and Emma is an artist when it comes to makeup, so I’m in no way trying to meet their skill levels – what I’m saying is that I don’t know what I bring to the table.

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When it comes down to me, I believe I do have multiple skills, but none that I truly excel at (I’ve touched upon this in a past blog post) – which to be honest, it’s fine for the most part, as I enjoy being able to try out and expand my interests, but it is quite frustrating not knowing what you true strength is. If you take a look at my channel, I don’t even know who I really am, so I’m not sure what comes across. I don’t know what my videos say about me… or maybe I do; they just never felt like a true representation of me, which is what bothers me.

Sure, I am a positive, light hearted person, that finds happiness in the simple things – like shown in my videos – but I do think there is much more to my personality, I just can’t seem to share that through the lens. I don’t know how to do that.

My fear is that, possibly, even my close friends don’t get to experience that from me; I sometimes notice how everybody is nicer to me that they are to others – which I do appreciate, of course – but I can’t help but feel like I’m perceived as naive and weak, and need to be shielded by reality and criticism.

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This year I would love to make a change, be able to open up, talk about different topics I don’t usually discuss, add some depth and meaning to my channel, to show that there is more to me. But in all honesty, I have no idea how to do that, mostly because – as I mentioned – I don’t even know what I’m good at to begin with.

I know and appreciate the fact that people take my channel for what it is: a place where I post uplifting and positive videos about anything that interests me in that particular moment; from pet videos, to travel vlogs. But I also feel like I’ve been doing just those type of stuff for long enough that I should allow myself to grow and experiment with other things as well. So this is – in no way – an attempt to change, stop or remove the things I’ve done in the past, but rather a starting point to open up something new.

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Because I’m so lost, I thought writing all of this on my blog could be a good starting point.

This post is all over the place, I’m aware of it, but hopefully something is coming across. If you don’t mind me asking: what makes you want to read what I write? What do you enjoy from my videos?

I’ve noticed lots of people asking me to bring the ‘monthly notes’ series from 2016 back – I’ve decided to listen to all the requests and do another year full of mini goals; hopefully that will push me to experience new things, which can never hurt, and come closer to finding myself.

But, I guess another question I have would be: is there anything you would want me to do, on my channel? Is there something I’ve never done and you would enjoy seeing me try out?

Even just thinking of my next video, I don’t really know what to film. Sure, I have plenty of ideas written down already and some series I want to do this year, but I simply don’t know how to begin 2018 – Youtube wise.

I feel like making a video about this topic could have been interesting, and a good way to change things up, yet I’m unable to open up like this on that platform, which is part of the problem.

I don’t know, maybe this year will turn out just like any of my other years, as far as content goes, and things will be just fine that way – but I think that at least spending some time thinking about ways to improve, and let you guys know how I really feel, is a step forward.

—-EDIT. This post has been up for a few hours now and you guys honestly gave me the most incredible encouragements, advices and feedback. I actually had teary eyes as I’m so happy you guys are part of my journey, and helped me see that what I do is meaningful to others, even if my interests are all over the place, and many of my videos document the simplest things in life. I truly appreciated reading through your comments, and feel even more positive now about this new year. Thank you all so much for sticking around, and for being the most amazing community. I feel incredibly lucky!

Marzia

 

532 thoughts on “STARTING OFF.

  1. Twila Knapp

    You can certainly see your expertise in the paintings you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.

    Like

    1. Louisa Martyn

      When she writes she uses the wrong words constantly, even simple ones such as ‘from’ or ‘to’. So I don’t agree with your comment, although I understand a lot of people mostly comment here to get their own blogs noticed so say something creepily untrue lol. Marzia needs to face facts that what she brings to youtube is childish. She’s like felix’s kept pet. So correction, wealthy pet. That’s how people see her, if I ask around I get the same feedback. Ofc, no-one will tell her to her face! She is an adult, but her content is for 9 year olds. Hedgehogs, scribbly drawings, making them into things to buy, pink candyfloss hair in bunches, squealing over her dogs, it’s endlessly childish. That’s her. It’s what we expect from her, it goes with the voice. lol. Added to which, she keeps herself really thin now, like a child and collects dolls. Even her clothing line was child-like. plastic rain coats, lemon theme, funny collars etc. It’s hard to get excited by her, we only watch to see what felix is dealing with at home LOL. We do all laugh at her, let’s be honest, but people are nice because they want to be noticed by Felix. Zoella wore a stunning lemon jumpsuit around the time of her lemon clothing launch, if she designed decent adult stuff like that, I’d find her way more interesting and respect her a little. You just know this next line will be utter kids bs. Her logo and pic gives me zero faith she’s progressed. So maybe if she started to shed the cutiepie image she’s been hiding behind, adopted her real voice (yes we’ve all heard it in the felix eating a sweet video) and just.. stopped being such a baby, like making video’s about a hedgehog in a tropical bath ffs, she would actually stop being a running joke on youtube. I doubt it though. She’s always gonna play the role of little kid playing at youtube. Maybe one day Felix will open his eyes and get someone more on his level. Someone who will make him even more popular, instead of embarrassing him. Her idea of good content is to upload videos where she makes him play badminton or pretending to jump scare etc etc. She legit squashes his cool in every video haha. She’s also a drama queen and makes EVERYTHING about her, remember when Felix was super sick? She just bitched and moaned about it the whole time. He can do SO much better. And all that shit she ‘bakes’ badly and makes him eat. You can see he hates it. He is very tolerant, I give him that. She doesn’t realize as she has a massive ego, but as soon as they split up, her channel will fade and die. He IS the only reason people watch his woman-child. If it annoys her, then that says it all about her understanding her own reality she’s living. She’s his pet, nothing more. She’ll spend this entire year doing stuff like buying axolotls and cooing about how adorable they are, then giving them awa when she gets bored etc etc rolls eyes. That, and bleating on abut how sick she is. And she wonders why people don’t see her as strong? wtf! At least she still makes me laugh, even if it is AT her.

      Like

      1. Zooney Lemons

        Chica, you need to learn some tact. You have decimated that person, because she is a real human person. You can’t be this brazen or real with your comments… your points have veered in to nasty territory. You’re not wrong in what you said, but you can’t just destroy someone like this and post it on a blog where fans linger, and using your facebook. Jeez… i certainly would never make such a nasty comment under my real name. You do realise that if ppl google your name, this comment will be there.

        Take some advice from someone older, delete this comment. Never post anything like this again under your facebook and learn how to be more constructive with your criticisms.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Annica

        That is one truly unhealthy behaviour you got there. If Marzia ever comes to mind that she needs to hear this because it’s an ”honest opinion” or some bs like that I will tell you this; ANYONE needs to be shielded from nasty things like this. Keep it to yourself, and most importantly, never speak for anyone else. I bet you know this, since you are such a grown up and mature woman and all that.
        Let the rest of us who are here for the right reason keep on playing alongside people like Marzia. We’ll manage life just as good as you, I promise.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. mackzplanet

        Oh, do take care, my love. This comment savors strongly of bitterness. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, but if Marzia’s content doesn’t appeal to you, why spend your time criticizing her character (as if you even truly know her) and complaining about the most trivial, superficial things (many of which aren’t true)? Marzia’s content brightens many peoples’ days, she has an incredible presence of her own and literally millions would disagree with your comments.
        Furthermore, Felix is a grown man who likely understands what it is that is best for him better than any delusional internet fan who does not know him personally. To say that “one day Felix will open his eyes and get someone more on his level. Someone who will make him even more popular, instead of embarrassing him” is the most presumptuous, misinformed, and just jealous comment that I’ve seen on Marzia’s blog in a while. It’s really a shame. To also add that he “keeps her as a pet” is not only one of most demeaning and dehumanizing things you could say, but that does more injustice and insult to Felix (whom it appears you are a fan of), and really speaks volumes about your own character, perception, and understanding. If Felix’s own comments on how he feels about Marzia and their relationship, as well as their 6+ YEARS together haven’t yet proved to you how desperate and unfounded your hopes of them splitting up are, nearly nothing could save you there.
        I hope you are able to find some reprieve and freedom from the harsh, bitter, and judgmental undertones laced all throughout your reply. Marzia mentioned above that she feels she hasn’t found her true strength to highlight in her content, but if there’s one thing that her presence consistently brings for hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people, it’s an incredible sense of kindness, positivity, and bravery to open her heart. You could take a leaf from her book there. Let 2018 treat you well and open your eyes to that side that many see and cherish in Marzia and this community.

        Liked by 3 people

      4. Sariah

        Louisa Martyn, calm down! 😮 … Why are you writing like you knew Marzia and Felix personally?? Marzia and Felix won’t ever show everything about their lives for camera.

        I love to watch Marzia’s happy videos. She is so different compared to many other youtubers and that’s why I like her. I know she is different in real life (nobody can be happy 100% of time). It’s very hard to show your whole personality and your whole life to watchers and I don’t think it would be wise.

        Marzia is not Felix’s pet. Remember that you have only seen them on short youtube videos. They don’t show you everything. I love both Marzia and Felix, so I love Melix videos the most! ❤ ^_^ They both are so unique. And it's good that they both dare to be so different.

        For me watching Marzia's and Felix's videos is a good way to escape my real life's problems for a moment. I'm thankful that they are making videos for us. And yes; I found Marzia because of Pewdiepie but her personality pleased me so I kept watching her videos, too.

        And tips for Marzia: I would be very happy if you made more any kind of Melix videos, not just because of Felix would be there, but as I said: I love you both. You two are my favorite youtubers! ❤ ❤ So seeing you together on a video is the best. I mean you are so funny couple. In a good way! 🙂 And your videos don't have to be always funny. You could talk about anything or do anything. I would still watch. (Hey!!… Did you figure out what the alien you were telling about was?… 😀 )

        If you wanna give something more about yourself you could make story time videos? 🙂 I would like to hear about the time you lived in Italy, your school times, your childhood… Anything 🙂 They don't have to be anything dramatic or too personal. But story time – videos could be a good way to tell more about your different talents, hopes, fears, personal things etc.

        And Marzia: it's good if you dare to try making different kind of videos, too. For example: Felix tried to change his style and he still has so many subscribers xD lol. I won't unsubscribe you if you started making other kind of videos, too. But don't change your style just because of hate comments, won't you? Be the woman you think you really are. You can't please everyone. Nobody can. I hope you can figure out some cool ideas for your future videos 🙂 I really enjoy watching your videos! ^_^

        [English is not my native language so I'm sorry about the spelling mistakes]

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Cherry

        Maybe you’re just a jealous bitch that sits on your couch and eats chips all day? Marzia has accomplished so much. She’s such an inspiration and if you have the time to look at her blog posts and be annoying for no their reason than to make fun of someone you need to step back and calm down. She’s not big because of pewds, sure he’s helped but people stay for her content. Lots of people have cute lines. People like me love that stuff and think it’s interesting. Just shut up and calm down. Marzia is such an inspiration you shouldn’t be saying bad things about her.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. kmel1863

        Hi Louisa,
        I read your post and I very much disagree with what you have to say, and in fact find it very disrespectful. I recently started watching Marzia because her videos are calming for me, and quality content that inspires me to engage in my creative side.

        Marzia, mostly through these posts has helped me gain confidence regarding myself and my anxiety.

        Her laugh brings me joy, her pugs bring me a smile, and I ADORE her videos with Felix– it is so apparent how much he loves her.

        While I think constructive criticism about clarity or writing could be useful, especially since Marzia is one of the amazing people who is bilingual. However, your “critiques” or more accurately, nasty comments, target her appearance, her relationship, and her soul. It is unkind and unnecessary.
        If you don’t like hr content, no need to watch.

        Liked by 2 people

      7. Sarah

        Wow………. I don’t even know where to begin with this comment, it is so psycho.

        The fact that you think a person simply making grammatical mistakes makes them deserving of mockery is disturbing enough as it is; to be so mean about a person’s language abilities when it is literally a foreign language that they did not grow up speaking/writing is some next level bullying. I actually think Marzia’s English is great considering that she supposedly barely spoke a word of it 5-6 years ago. Like, girl is writing some introspective shit in a second language. What are YOU doing?

        And then your disgusting psychotic jealousy that you’ve so thinly disguised as “criticism”. You don’t have to like Marzia’s content. You don’t have to like her taste. You don’t even have to like her as a person. You Should, however, for your own mental health, reflect on why you are so bent on hating a person that you can even delude yourself into thinking you know how their significant other feels about them, especially when your information comes from how they are presenting themselves on Youtube –– a platform defined by curated personas and heavily edited content.

        Even if you take both their content as Bible Truth as you have done so, Louise, you clearly Need to see more of the world. Two people can present themselves very differently to the world, as Marzia and Felix clearly do, and still be what each other is perfectly happy with. And I have a feeling Felix and Marzia are alot more similar than their content lets on. We’re talking about a guy who flew internationally to meet a girl he’d never even skyped with??? A girl who fell in love with a guy without even sharing a common language with him??? A complete recipe for disaster!! Yet they’re still committed to each other after 6 years! I don’t think you must have much experience with relationships to understand how much mutual feeling must be there to commit for that long and to have overcome so many barriers.

        See a doctor Louisa.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Anastasia

        Dear Marzia,

        You are incorrect to think your channel does not have a niche. And frankly to describe it a new word needs to be created. That is how much your channel differs from anything else.

        For the sake of example, call it Marzialand and for an analogy think of Disneyworld. Disney is instantly associated with cute characters and childhood stories.
        Or for instance, think of the Harry Potter world, which evokes the sense of magic and spells.
        Just the same Marzialand has its own association too.
        You’ve created a space of warmth and comfort people come back to. Not just the content but the child-like quality in you, is a treasure. You have to know this. If more people had a child-like trait in them this world would be a much kinder world.

        I think you may be worried since your channel isn’t focused on one specific skill and your videos are a variety of different or maybe random ideas, some will regard it as a joke. Like “Here’s a girl who doesn’t know what to do with her life so she does a lot of everything trying to pass as a relevant contributor”.

        If anyone who comes by your channel has this opinion AFTER thoroughly watching your videos, it does not mean they are right, and it does not mean they are wrong, it means–they don’t get it. And hopefully ‘yet’.
        Because in a grown up’s reality of what “adult life must be like”, it is necessary for something to bring people back to the simplicity of what life really should be like.
        Those unable to understand this are in fact the one’s lost. And they would do well if something could remind them of what encompasses true happiness of life.

        Life doesn’t have to be what we were taught it must be.
        Going to school for 12 years, college for 4,8,12 more, pursuing one career, and finally retiring.
        In actuality the majority of people who influenced the world in a grand way did not stick to just doing one thing.
        Steve Jobs for instance did not only create the iProducts, he started by making computers in a garage, and later in life when he got kicked out of Apple at the rise of its popularity, he decided to create PIXAR, which brought us animations like WALL-E, Ratatouille, Brave, & Inside Out.

        Better yet, Elon Musk, considered by many the modern genius of our time, he runs 5 companies of very different fields: (Space – Cars – Sun Energy for homes – Artificial Intelligence – And Human Augmentation)

        So bravo to you for exploring many fields, and don’t be made to feel insufficient.
        Take pride in not conforming to the norm. Own yourself. Stand by your channel and everything* you’ve ever created on it.
        And those who don’t get it, are yet to learn something in life.

        I think it’s wise you shared your acknowledgment of the fact that you are in search of yourself. It can be both comforting for you to share, but also needed for your fans to hear. Many are on the same journey of self discovery, in fact most.
        A person who can say they found themselves is a lucky individual.

        I noticed in your recent videos a sadness in you that was not present in your early day videos.
        If its due to uncertainty, work overload, health, love, family, a sense of something missing—whatever the reason, with time you will find your centre again.
        Hiccups in life are there purposely. They teach us the most important things we learn in life.

        I understand as a channel and its audience grows, a gradual realization develops of the impact and commitment you have. This may be the cause for you questioning yourself.

        But If you could see your own channel from an outside perspective. You’d be awed by everything done. I loved your videos since the first one created. And watching someone’s growth of character can be very supportive for those growing themselves.

        I hope you remain true to yourself. Remember that the simple things in life bring you happiness. Cherish the person and people you love.
        I wish you all the best on your journey.
        Where you will come to the other side finding confidence and harmony.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Zelma Romero

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    Like

  3. Pingback: Marzia | Creator Admirations – HANNAH MAGGIE

  4. nicoleslife96

    I know this post is a few weeks old but I am currently catching up on every blogger I follow. I relate to this post a lot because I have never felt like I fit into any particular group of people or theme. I love your videos and blog posts because they are different every time and I feel like even though you don’t necessarily fit into any one category you make content based on you and I love that. I see you as this genuine person who isn’t trying to be someone who they aren’t. If you cannot talk about personal issues on youtube thats okay! I hope youre doing much better ^-^

    Like

  5. Priscilla M

    Hi Marzia! A bit of time has past since you posted this blog post, but here I am. Maybe if you come back to read this, you’ll get another marzipans point of view. So, I’m sorry if this is unorganized. But the past year has been tuff for me, and before all of the bad stuff happened I was here watching and enjoying your videos. Soon, I was really angry and didn’t want anything to do with anything. Including your videos and blog post. I was angry and thinking about your content reminded me of all the sadness. I still feel sad, but just tonight, I decided to draw and watch your videos. Gosh, let me tell you I went from music and crying to watching your videos and feeling so amazing! You say that you don’t have a strength e.g. being a makeup artist like your friend but, your strength is to just be random! (I hope that doesn’t sound bad to u) but what I mean is, you don’t have to have one strength to truly feel like you have found yourlself, you said it yourself, about doing simple, positive videos on things that you enjoy. That’s what makes you, you. I truly don’t believe that you need something to make yourself feel like you have found yourself. You are kind, random, and so awesome!! You, being a non-professional makeup artist makes you Marzia! (even tho, I love your makeup videos. They are always so good and I wish you would make more cause I always want to know how you got a certain look because, they all come out so pretty) you being a drawer, makes you Marzia! You loving your pets and animals, makes you Marzia! You aspiring to become a better and ethical person, makes you Marzia! All of these random things that we, the Marzipans see and the things that we don’t see and don’t know about you, make you YOU! You are amazing. Embrace being random, don’t try to think that you need one thing make you feel like you have found yourself, because there are these things that make you, you and the future things that make you, you. And this all YouTube wise. I think that every marzipan wouldn’t want you to change your content to one thing or anything because all that you put out is good. And I’m sure everyone can agree. I’m really glad youre gonna bring out the ‘notes’ videos again. They inspire me to go out, and do my own thing. I really have no idea what makes me want to watch your videos or read your blog posts. I think it’s because I like you as a person. The little bit that I get to see you in your videos allows me to say, that this person is kind, and goes out for their dreams. I don’t know. I just have grown to like you. And I want to keep watching and reading along to follow your journey. It’s weird how, your videos… you! Allowed me to change my mood to make me feel hopeful and to continue to enjoy your videos. I’m going to be really sad the day you stop making videos so please, I hope that is not anytime soon! Some video stuff I would like to see, is more makeup (even tho u say you’ve done a lot) some, desert videos, maybe a, video on how you can create lots of outfits with a few pieces of clothes. Maybe another one of your M-F vlog. I loved that one. Sorry that it’s so long. But, you probably won’t even read it haha

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Lia

    Marzia every time I watch your videos I feel as if I am regaining a part of myself. I feel a constant anxiety that life is slipping by and that I’m always not doing enough or that what I can do is not something I truly enjoy. You remind me of being 17 freshly out of high school without any burdens and only possibilities. You make me feel that everything is enough and exactly as is meant to be just the way it is now. You live a simple and yet rich life and maybe I can find my own way too. You are not at all naive or weak, you seem really grounded upon yourself and bring others to want to be kind to you because they want to share in that feeling you bring. You are innocent in all the ways that I believe every young woman deserves to be. You are wise in knowing what’s important in life. I am grateful to have the influence of the energy you give out accessible to me every day. You make me feel that I should not give up on love and to choose a kind person because it will bring m the happiness you share with Felix. And also that I should do work that I enjoy even if it is not seen as important or powerful to society. You make me realize that maybe, just maybe, everything is going to be alright and nothing is wrong, needing to be fixed. Maybe there is something for me to look forward to..

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Jülide

    There are many reasons why I watch your videos on YouTube and follow you on other social internet platforms. One of them is at the end of your videos I always realize that I am smiling and am happy. Isn’t that a reason to be happy about what you do? You are such a wonderful person!

    Like

  8. magnolianeraweb

    So I’m late, i read this post weeks later and so you probably will never read my response.
    Let’s just say if i keep watching your videos during those years is also because you have so much interests that i will never know what your future video will be about.
    But there’s a thing i want you to say. Marzia you’re an human being, probably one of the most kind. I see that you’re probably confused, don’t know what to do, i need to add that I’m feeling this way too. I didn’t went to Uni, in Italy its hard to find a job, i don’t even know for sure if i want to study again, and then what? I’m the kind of person with many skills too, but nothing that I’m really good at.
    Maybe one day there will be something that will tell me exactly what to do with my life. And so it will happen to you.

    Like

  9. juntoshi

    It’s interesting that you say that you “don’t know what you bring to the table”. I have been subscribed to you since you posted your first ever cooking video (many years ago!) and I always thought that you had a very distinguishable personality. I feel as though you are so different from everyone else and have a certain je ne sais quoi about you. I think that’s what you bring. In a market saturated by “perfect” people who have a specific brand and extreme energy yet are all inherently similar, you always felt like a breath of fresh air to me. Your videos are beautiful in a very minimalist way, kind of like all those Japanese movies where beauty is presented in a very different manner. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, there simply isn’t a word to define you, but to me you always felt different to everyone else. Different to all the other YouTube channels. And you stay true to yourself throughout the years. Even if you’ve evolved and changed your style dramatically throughout the years I can still see your style there. Again, I cannot pinpoint either to exactly how I can tell or exactly what that style is, but there’s always something there that makes me know it’s you. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the anime Fruits Basket, but you really remind me of this. It’s not that you are similar to any of the characters, but your personality seems warm and sweet, and even in the simplest of videos you manage to convey some sort of hidden message on beauty, just like this show does, without having to say anything or show anything in particular. I feel as though you may not even notice that you’re doing that, because it comes from deep within your soul. It’s something you cannot help but give to your work. That’s what a true artist is. You probably will not read this comment as there are more than 500 already, but I hope you manage to find peace of mind somehow, as you are a very talented person!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. kemza

    hi marzia!! ive been watching your videos since 2013, yes i met you through felix but that doesn’t change the fact that i find your videos very endearing, creative, sincere, inspiring and utterly beautiful. I love the way you edit your videos and the kind of content you make, they’re just very relaxing to me and i always get the feeling that im with you in that moment.

    In my opinion all kinds of creators or artists can reflect how they feel or who they are through their content but it doesnt always need to be like this. The kind of content you make doesn’t need to define who you are, you’re much more than a video or a drawing or anything you post, yes you share a part of you, yes you work really hard on them but im not gonna judge your whole personality based on your content, so please dont stress over things like these. We only know the you who posts videos on youtube and articles on your blog, we know this piece of you and we know you’re much more.

    You said that you find relaxing to make this videos and its the same for us when we watch them, we, or at least i, find your content very relaxing and somehow feel like im escaping with you. I haven’t found any other youtuber who does what you do, you do make original and sincere content, you express what you like and your point of view on things, you do show part of your true colors in your content and that is something that isn’t that easy to do, i admire you for it.

    Im excited to see you grow even more, what i would like to see in your future content is simply you being you and seeing you find a way to show us more of what you can be.

    sorry if this is really messy, english isn’t my first language. I love u marzia, please never stop making content and i hope you can achieve all your dreams and spend a really really happy life!!

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  11. Kinga

    Dear Marzia,
    Probably you will never see this small comment by me but I just wanted to tell you that this post reminded me about myself, too. I’m kind of youtuber and recently I have no idea what to do anymore because not many people are watching my content. This makes me so discouraging so it’s getting harder and harder to make new videos. I really understand your concern but remember one thing:
    I’m always with you. I saw your channel 6 years ago and still I’m here for you. I know it’s not much, i’m just one person among millions of people…
    You are the most inspiring and motivation person in the world, for me you really are. You can be sure of that. Believe in yourself and if you feel weak or sad remember that WE are waiting for your new post, video, photo – EVERYTHING.
    BECAUSE EVERYTHING WHAT YOU TOUCH IS GETTING BEAUTIFUL AND STUNNING.

    Take care Marzia,
    Kinga from Poland

    Like

  12. Chiara

    Dear Marzia,
    I feel kind of the same, only not on a youtube level, but just life. What to do when your just always the middle and never really excell at something. It always feels like your missing something. Your artwork is really good, maybe you can make your own cartoon (on a bigger scale with all the elements you love and hate in life sprinkled with comedy) or maybe i am not the right person to give answers to your questions. Maybe finding what your really good at takes time and alot of try and falls. I hope you find whatever it is what makes you happy.
    Ps. I came accros your blog today and thought leave a comment. Normally i dont do this because i dont know you and its kinda creepy thought. Kind regards, Chiara from the Netherlands.

    Like

  13. aisterimk

    Marzia.. I don’t know if you will ever see this comment.. But I just really wanna tell you that I am feeling exactly like you and I am being judged for same reasons as you.. But.. YOU HAVE TO STAY STRONG no matter what, never let rude, mean and negative comments to effect you, these people talk nonsense that they have no idea about and people that spread negativity are having bad life themselves usually, positive and happy people never share such a stuff nor hate people that they don’t know. so.. LISTEN only to positive things, because these people really try to reach out to you and tell you that you are doing everything fine, IGNORE negative people, because they bark because their own life is full of problems, so they hate successful, happy people. LIVE life with smile.. what your fans can see is that people, that surround you , they make you a better person, and you make them better people.
    If I ever met you, I would tell you the same and would walk away, because you don’t know me and you probably would not understand it at first, but I would be that positive “comment” In Real Life haha..

    Like

  14. Cheery

    I have been watching your videos for over three years now! And nearly four! I adore your videos. I admire them so wonderfully. I get happy vibes from them. That your style, stories, interests, experiences are some what similar to mine.

    I like when i can just relate to a person like you Mariza. It makes me say there’s more to that person than that’s just on a screen. You show so much more.

    How you gain confidence, style as well. Exploring now worlds of interests and also challanging yourself that inspires me.

    When i first visited your channel i was in a bad state just watching your videos and hearing from your troubles made me feel i wasn’t the only one who dealt with this rush of anxiety.

    I hope you find more of your personality in real life and on your channel by posting what you love! Also explore new catagoeies of different things, never be afraid of them.!

    There’s nothing more than a good place to share what you like doing and finding out more about yourself.

    Like

  15. Eliel

    Marzia!

    I feel very similar to you. I can tell that you feel very deeply about a lot of things especially what you want to do with your life. I can easily list your strengths:

    -Videos have unique and polished aesthetic
    -Editing makes watching them very relaxing
    -Very cute! The DIY/cooking videos can easily be both for viewing only or informational because it has style
    -Goal videos can be very motivational for some people and great to watch!
    -Videos about your clothing line/make up/etc are calming and beautiful
    *It’s needless to say you are good at cooking and making things

    Weaknesses because there’s always room to improve:
    -Some more focused videos that can be a series (like the notes one)
    -More things about you/how you feel/what you are dealing with/how you deal with it
    (We know a lot about what Marzia does but not so much about her!) I feel this blog shines esp due to the aesthetic and web design. It’s calming for you and readers. But we get a sense of your personality that isn’t in your videos. Which is wonderful.

    I think your need to change WILL make your videos feel like you. They are already amazing.

    Much love,
    Eliel

    Like

  16. Tivhau

    I know this is old but I had to comment!

    You wrote:
    “My fear is that, possibly, even my close friends don’t get to experience that from me; I sometimes notice how everybody is nicer to me that they are to others – which I do appreciate, of course – but I can’t help but feel like I’m perceived as naive and weak, and need to be shielded by reality and criticism.”

    I don’t think they act kind because they think you are naive, I think it’s probably because YOU are kind and nice to them so they act the same 🙂 Never have I thought that you would be naive or weak! No way. It takes strength to act nice and staying positive.

    And yes, your videos are relaxing, they make in a better mood 🙂 And you inspire me to do things that I like instead of just staying at home. Thank you!

    Felix’s content isn’t defined at all!! It’s all over the place nowadays!! Just kidding, you both are doing amazing job! 🙂

    And aren’t you an artist? A person who has made your own clothes. You’re are showing that in your youtube channel and it is interesting 🙂 You asked what we would like to see.. Seeing more of your art would be interesting? I don’t know either 😀 You are doing good. Maybe do more things with plants because it was hilarious how bad you were with them, I’m sorry!! 😀 I’m a gardener so it was funny to see. Hahaha, just joking, hope you don’t mind 🙂

    Have a great year!!!

    Like

      1. Yofija

        Exactly! DIY cooking. DIY decor or general creative projects = really interesting & inspiring and realistic… nothing seems overly staged like a boring DIY tv show…if I wanted to watch TV I’d go watch TV!!

        Also I agree… though, for real, if anything…Marzia’s Channel is the more thematic channel… other peoples channels are crazy mixed bags lol. I alwaus thought she had a clear defined style for her channel, to me.

        It’s relaxing, chill, inspiring, creative, and aesthetic.

        I’d even like to see her showcase a design idea for different rooms, but using her art skills… not by moving things around her home necessarily. Like what does she draw inspiration from when decorating a space…even if she isn’t sure exactly what in particular inspires her. I think it woukd be helpful and interesting.

        Like

  17. Mel

    Marzia! Hello, I’m from a small province in Argentina and I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy watching your videos. You are so peaceful, unique, thoughtful and creative to me that when you talk i have to be honest it helps me most of the times to calm down my anxiety. That been said, I think sooner you will be able to find specific message or content that you want to start to show in your videos and no matter what that is, I’m gonna keep whatching and been as suportive as can from my little place. Send you the best wishes, girl ♥♥♥

    Like

  18. Yofija

    I realize this is a very old entry. As someone who has kept you in my subscribers list for years…and pops in from time to time…I thought maybe I have a perspective from your ‘occasional check in’ viewer base.

    I am a lady who isn’t into make up channels or cooking, but when I see a notice tgat you cooked spmething get excited and hurry to your channel to check it out. You inspired me to cook. I never really liked cooking. It always seemed boring to me. I’d rather just make a salad and be done with it.

    But here was a chick who wasn’t afraid to make a mess or mistake and had fun cooking. Your food looks yum everytime. But your style of videos are always super aesthetic too. You make it look good. So….I when my man went vegan…I decided to learn to make interesting vegan dishes for him. You inspired me…not all those run-of-the-mill cooking channels…you channel did. You helped me realize that it’s not that I don’t like cooking…I don’t like cooking tge same old stuff over and over…I needed to being adventurous & creative in my cooking. I tried it… and we both loved it. It was like suddenly I could cook. Hahaha… ( hard to explain ) but I was having fun cooking and I think tgat was part of why the food tasted better. Even when I messed up some timing or something….I was having fun and it was okay if it wasn’t perfect. It was my dish & I can make it how I wanted.

    I LOVE YOUR TRAVEL VIDS… >_> because of you when we goon vacation…I take pictures of our shoesas we walk along. It’s weird but we remember the memories of the moment much longer after I started doing this. ^_^ I don’t know why your videos were you, your friends, your pugs or ofc your man are walking…always seemed to make me more creative or something…not sure…but there is something in those shots. Anyway, after we did it in Corsica…we always do it.. even if its just one shot and I swear instead of remembering the place…we both say those “traveling feet pictures” help us vividly remember the moment…how we felt at the time…plus no awkward picture of one or both of us doing a boring or awkward pose infront of some statue that we dont even remember later. Lol…

    I really liked that video where you watched a movie. It……seemed artistic. I really was confised when I read your post here…you thinking you don’t have a style…if you saw the channels I normally watch…you coukd see yours stands out blatantly against the others.

    You aren’t niave. YOU JUST AREN’T JADED towards everything. I am not into make up channels…I checked out both Em’s and liked niether of their channels. ( not that they are both make up channels .. just saying I checked out both Em’s channels ) I am not knocking your friends. But if I had to choose to spend an hour with either Em, Felix, or You… I would pick you…and I watch Felix the most. It isn’t because U are in the middle in the sense of being mousy or tiny or something negative. I think Felix is pretty interesting, but you seem more my kind of person…chill, okay to be awkward, maybe shy at first but then super loud lolol…and you arent afraid to show insecurities while still having a positive hope on life. You seem balanced. Not overly confident….not so shy you wouldn’t speak ( all hypothetical…ofc because no one is that way witha stranger lol…)

    I used to think people were nice to me who had strong personalities because they felt bad for me or felt they needed to sheild me, protect me…like you said.

    It took me along time to realize…
    They were nice to me…because I am nice to them.

    My man… and my friends… helped me to see… i wasnt out of place. The reason they are my friend is BECAUSE I am the lowkey, chill, fun, sweet, giving, encouraging person that I am… and that it was okay to see that in myself. They were drawn to me, because I helped them be more realistic, adventurous, creative, and to remember to slow down and take in the daily life stuff. My one friend told me…that with me she feels like she can be just – herself… if she made a mistake I wouldn’t make it this whole thing…it was okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

    I tell you all this… because maybe that is who you are to your friends and man, as well.

    True. I may have stopped by because of Felix.
    But I stayed because of you.
    The only reason I am here at this site was cause I for whatever reason found it odd that there wasn’t a new video up. Not that you have that kind of posting schedule.

    And THAT —– I actually like that you DON’T post 24/7 3 times a day.. jeez I can’t stand YTbrs that do that… once a day…maybe…But 3 times a day on the regular… it annoys me. There are other people I wanna check in on, besides their videos.. I dont watch YT for more than 2 hours total.

    So, I actually like that you put out quality over quantity.

    There is are two YTbr’s that only post videos maybe 4 times a year…and when they post I know it’s gonna be a good one.
    ( please don’t post only 4 times a year haha…I mean to say that your videro upload rate is good to me )

    As for suggestions on what to post: I loved the bullet journal post, your book reviews, and when you every once in a while did drawing …that episode was really interesting. I draw, as well, but your art style is super unique.

    If ever you go visit some place, maybe talk about one specific place… you do this a little…but seem shy about it somehow…so maybe try to off camera narrate just one part of it…kinda how you did with the clothing swap…er..where your friends bought you clothes to try…while they were in the store you off camera narratored a bit.

    So, say…lol okay easy … say you go visit some kinda away park… talk about why you went their… what you liked about it… your style seems perfect for travel vlog videos but might go up a notch if you told more things… but maybe since you said you are shy to even open up to people close to you in RL … so you’d feel awkward making a video like this on your channel.. do the travel vlog or day trip vlog as normal… but with your person thoughts and intetests editted in off camera in edit.

    I hope I was helpful.
    If it interests you in someway and is helpful…
    I’d say in a every 5 videos that you post, I watch 3. Then, on a rainy days where I got more time…even a month later… I go back and check out those other 2 that I skipped.

    So, I am not sure I can call myself a true marzipan but.. I am a fan of your channel. I just pop in & out. Hope this helps.

    Oh… if you have never done this? (can’t recall)
    I’d love to see you try origami. Not sure why, but I think it would be fun to watch. Here’s to confidence that this year will be the metamorphosis that you seem to want it to be. ( ( ( ^_^)/”)

    Like

  19. Inesa

    Hey, it is great to hear that you are looking for a change. I think I can relate a little to changes because I just turned 26. It has to be the age that does it 🙂 I feel that you may be holding yourself back a little with your content because you are “afraid” of judgement or maybe you think that people would unsubscribe if you changed your content a bit. I am not a youtuber, so I can only speak from the viewer’s point. I personally like to follow people that are creative and not afraid to be themselves. I think it takes courage and above average self-esteem 🙂 I believe if you would start posting things that make you happy, no matter if it is totally different from what you used to do, people would appreciate it. And even if you loose some of the subs I think it can be a new awesome experience to slowly but surely become more self-confident and help find your strengths. Sometimes it is just OKAY not to care what others think of you, if you know what kind of person you are. I understand it is harder for a public person like you or any youtuber with a big following, but I think this is inevitable for humans to evolve and grow and care less about bitter people that comment negative stuff. Good luck in your search! Cheers 🙂

    Like

  20. Marta

    I really enjoy your videos and even your posts, you are such a cool person to be around. Do whatever you feel like the most and don’t be afraid of changes. They are good. Nobody knows you the way you do, so do what makes you happy. Here you are my support 😀

    Like

  21. 1992

    This post is brave. And shows a new you. I wanted to write here for so long, and since I’m now sick to my stomach (highfive) and can’t leave the house..let’s do it. Besides, I want to “return the favor”, for reading/watching you has cheered me up sometimes.
    Of course, I recognize my thoughts in yours, I’m undefined, can’t read my mind. I also fear that nobody ever gets to know me. It’s frustrating knowing that you have so much to give..but don’t know how.

    You don’t know what you bring to the table? I’ll tell you. What I get from your videos/posts is passion, drive, fineness, intelligence, attention to detail, attentiveness, determination, sensibility (oh Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, must read), support, ambition, inspiration, strength, bravery (I think meeting Felix and getting to know each other was brave of you), honesty. I think you could excel at anything you wanted to. Being good at everything can be a paralyzing problem haha

    Oscar Wilde said: to define is to limit. Why defining yourself when you can be a lot of things? I like to think we’re like renaissance women, because people then knew how to do everything.

    Let’s toast to self-discovering and evolution! Anything you put out there will be quality and good. I’d buy everything haha

    Could it be that you outgrew Youtube? Maybe you need to do something bigger 😀

    Btw I came across a screenshot of one of your posts where you recommended some music, ‘Say something loving’ by The XX among others. I’m listening to the I See You album and I love their music. I first knew about them when I heard a ‘Islands’ and ‘Love the way you lie’ mashup (Taylor Momsen cover), but then forgot. Thanks for rediscovering them. Their music leaves me calm but eager to live, which is a great combination. Hope to see them live.

    And thanks for bringing back your monthly notes.

    I’m going to leave some lines from one of my favorite movies.
    ‘My teacher, Katherine Watson, lived by her own definition, and would not compromise that. Not even for Wellesley. I dedicate this, my last editorial, to an extraordinary woman who lived by example and compelled us all to see the world through new eyes. By the time you read this, she’ll be sailing to Europe, where I know she’ll find new walls to break down and new ideas to replace them with. I’ve heard her called a quitter for leaving, an aimless wanderer. But not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition; beyond definition; beyond the image.’

    Like

  22. Astrid

    Hi Marzia,

    your personality feels like a summer break for me in the real world. I don’t care what you post, I like your way of being, your aesthetic, the music, the calmness, the creativity. I don’t know if this makes any sense. It calms me down. Your type of channel is so rare, so many people always have to be so loud and that’s not what I enjoy.

    I feel like most of the world is too harsh for me, I feel very fragile sometimes and I know that for this reason people definitely are nicer to me sometimes. And it annoys me as well. So I could really relate to your sentence.
    But in the last year, I learned to accept that my personality type has its perks too and people love me for who I am.

    But, what I want to say with that, I like your channel for what it is. You don’t have to state your opinion more if you don’t know how. I’m sure everybody is sure, you have an opinion, you don’t need to prove anything. You are already a great gift to the world.

    Astrid

    Like

  23. tarajhargreaves

    Your videos bring positivity into my life and make me realize how simple things can often be. Your videos are refreshing and relaxing. The thing I love most about your channel is that it has no real theme to it. You just do what interests you and that makes me interested. Please keep doing what you love. You are good at simply being you.

    Like

  24. Empyrean

    This was mentioned before but I’d like to agree with it, you should do a story time video! I love your channel, it really brightens my day. But I think itd be really interesting to hear not so cheerful stories as well. Again, keep doing what youre doing, I love it and it inspires me a lot. Oh, and please do not read Louisa’s comment. She’s mentally unstable (obviously) and beyond WRONG in her view. Please don’t feel bad if you did read it, you’re an angel.

    Like

  25. erika jane

    Marzia, I enjoy your content because It’s inspiring and uplifting! You’re different and that’s what’s making me keep tuning in. What I like too is that you’re genuine. You do/create things that makes you happy, no matter how many “views” it might get. The way you express through writing is really captivating to me. When I read them, I could imagine and/or feel the experience or whatever it is you’re trying to say. That is why I watched you since 2015 and is still here! :3

    I would love for you to share more about yourself, your feelings, or your opinions. But nonetheless, whatever you decide on putting up, I’ll be here supporting you! LOVE LOTS xx

    Like

  26. Caroline

    Hi Marzia,

    This was such an honest blog post, and I think it’s really brave of you to write this. I’m sorry for reading this so late. But I think it’s so great that you’re just writing your thoughts; blog posts don’t always have to be these perfectly structured and staged entries, and I love that you show that. I often feel the same way as you do, that I’m fine with just being in the middle. But I really don’t think you are ❤ I think your whole take on fast fashion and how passionate you are about ethical fashion is exceptional, and that you're really changing a lot of people's perspective. You're incredibly talented, with your interior design and how creative you always are. I was just reading about how you re-did your bathrooms and I was thinking "wow I wish I could do that".

    You're an incredible person Marzia, and you always come across as honest in your videos. I wish you all the very best and just wanted you to know that you are truly inspiring – maybe I should try doing an interior design course 😛

    Lots of love ❤

    Like

  27. Sara

    Hey Marzia, I know this is a bit late and maybe you’ll never read it but anyways…
    I watch your youtube videos and read your blog ( I love your blog! ) because you are such an inspiration for me. I mean it may sounds cheesy but I can relate to so many things you’re going through and hearing someone else, another girl, thinks about the same stuff makes me stronger.
    Well, I tried to make youtube videos but I didn’t know a channel topic, so it’ll be a channel about everything just like my insta-account. It’s everything but nothing that defines me really. I don’t know my strenghts either. Still try to find myself.
    I think you are a great artist and a very creative person. You have so many good ideas! Like that one with your
    beloved designer dress which had some non-removeable spots, so you just embroided some flowers over it and know it’s a unicate.

    Lots of love,
    Sara

    Like

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